When someone you love is living with dementia, conversations may begin to feel different.

They may have difficulty finding the right word, following a conversation, processing new information, expressing what they need, or understanding what someone else is asking of them.

But difficulty communicating doesn't mean there isn't a desire to connect.

One of the most important things to remember is that the person is still a person—not a diagnosis. How we approach them, speak to them, and respond to what they're experiencing can make communication feel safer and less frustrating for everyone involved.

Start With Connection

Before focusing on what you need to say, think about how you're entering the interaction.

Approach calmly. Make eye contact. Use the person's name. Sit or stand where they can comfortably see you, and speak directly to them rather than talking about them to someone else in the room.

Your tone of voice, facial expression, body language, and pace are all part of the conversation.

If you're rushed, tense, or frustrated, that may affect the interaction too.

Sometimes slowing ourselves down is the first step toward helping the conversation feel easier.

Reduce Distractions

Communication can become more difficult when there is too much happening at once.

If possible, turn down the television, move away from a noisy area, and reduce other distractions before beginning an important conversation.

You may also notice that certain times of day are easier than others. When you have flexibility, consider having important conversations when the person tends to feel most comfortable and engaged.

Keep Communication Simple—Without Being Infantilizing

Simple communication can be helpful, but simple does not mean childish.

Speak clearly and naturally. Avoid using a “baby voice,” speaking down to the person, or assuming they don't understand simply because they are having difficulty responding.

Try focusing on one idea or question at a time.

Instead of asking several questions at once, give the person an opportunity to process and respond to one before moving to the next.

When open-ended questions feel overwhelming, offering two choices may make responding easier.

For example, rather than asking:

“What would you like to drink?”

you might ask:

“Would you like coffee or tea?”

Give Them Time to Respond

Silence doesn't necessarily mean the person hasn't understood you.

They may simply need more time to process what you've said and find the words they want to use.

Pause.

Give them time.

Try not to finish their sentences, interrupt, or immediately repeat the question.

If they seem not to understand, try rephrasing your message rather than simply saying the same thing louder.

Listen for More Than the Words

Communication isn't only verbal.

Pay attention to facial expressions, gestures, posture, tone of voice, and changes in behavior. These may provide important clues about what the person is trying to communicate.

If the words don't quite make sense, ask yourself:

What might they be trying to tell me?

They may be expressing fear, discomfort, frustration, loneliness, confusion, or a need for reassurance—even if the words themselves don't clearly communicate that.

Responding to the emotion can sometimes be more helpful than trying to make every detail of the conversation factually correct.

You Don't Have to Correct Everything

It can be tempting to correct someone when they remember something differently or say something you know isn't accurate.

But ask yourself: Does correcting this matter right now?

If the answer is no, correcting or arguing may create unnecessary frustration.

Instead, listen for the feeling or need underneath what they're saying and respond to that.

This doesn't mean ignoring safety concerns or agreeing with something when doing so could cause harm. It means recognizing that being factually correct isn't always the most important goal of an interaction.

Remember That Communication Can Change

Dementia affects each person differently, and communication abilities can change over time.

Something that works today may not work six months from now. A strategy that works beautifully for one person may frustrate another.

Continue paying attention to the individual in front of you—their preferences, abilities, routines, personality, and ways of expressing themselves.

Whenever possible, include them in conversations and decisions rather than speaking around them or assuming what they want.

Connection Doesn't Always Require Conversation

There may be times when words become difficult.

You can still connect.

Listening to familiar music, looking through photographs, sharing a laugh, sitting quietly together, holding a hand when touch is welcomed, or simply being present can all be meaningful ways of communicating.

You don't always need to find the perfect words.

Sometimes the most important message is simply:

I'm here with you.

Navigating a Later-Life Transition?

At Dovetail Companies, we help older adults and their families navigate the decisions that come with planning, rightsizing, moving, and selling a longtime home. Our approach brings Calm · Clarity · Connection™ to the process—helping you understand your options, determine the right next steps, and connect with trusted professionals when additional support is needed.

Whether you're planning ahead or already facing a transition, you don't have to figure out every piece at once.

Dovetail Companies
617-227-1600
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